Pursuit...

Apparently there is a science to being chosen by a male suitor.  I say that for several reasons because I recently went to a workshop called, “Women Learn… To Follow”.  The workshop was interesting, but it brought up a plethora of other topics that women often times deal with.  I’ll share my opinion later. 

So I say again… Apparently there is a science to being chosen by a male suitor.  Call me old fashion, but, when did our society get to the point where women had to become so aggressive in their actions towards men that men somehow forgot their roles and roles are now reversed.   Women have now become more aggressive and more assertive in pursuing relationships with men.  Why?  Why are the roles reversed?  I’ve heard women mention the women to men ratio and there’s more of us (women) and less of them (men) therefore if you don’t go after it; sadly you’re not gonna get it.  Seriously? 

WHAT HAPPENED TO GOD CHOOSING OUR MATES?  Is that too old fashion too??

So, I question what are these women doing?  Some women many times choose to engage in small conversation, flip or toss the hair, a sweet, innocent smile, a phone call, a push or tug of the arm, you get the idea.  And let’s not forget our physical appearance which many times is what attracts a man’s attention.   Never underestimate the power of lipstick or manicured nails or those new Betsy Johnson heels … (my favorite right now J).  Either way women are no longer allowing the man to make “The Move” they are simply moving without hesitation.  And this doesn’t even include those women that are beyond aggressive that will truly say what it is they want with no filter.  I think the new term for those women is “thirsty”.  (My kiddos taught me that one lol!).

Call me old fashion, but I believe it’s a man’s duty and his responsibility to choose a “Jane to his Tarzan, make like King Kong and throw her over his shoulder, and whisk her away to the home he built with his bare hands.”  However, more and more men are relinquishing these duties and women are picking up where the man left off due to women’s need for control.  Why must we feel the need to control everything?  Let that man be a MAN!

So let’s look at GOD.  He is the ultimate pursuer.  He comes after us, romances us, and wins us with His love.  Therefore, each and every follower of Christ should be in full pursuit of Him first and foremost before they ever worry about pursuing the opposite sex. 

So what does it actually mean to pursue?  I think many of us have a different understanding of that word and if we are supposed to pursue Christ we should be knowledgeable in doing just that with an accurate perception.  Often times, we as Christians have a misguided and ill-advised concept usually constructed by what society deems as important.  But, what society deems as important is more or less not important at all.  Unlike the behavior of many women, Pursuit is not aggressive or assertive or forceful like the “I’m not taking no for an answer”. 

One definition that I liked is “The act or an instance of chasing or pursuing; act of striving”. This definition allows us to see that pursuit should be an ongoing process to attain or achieve that which you are pursuing.  Pursuit should not be something you do one time.  Christians must always pursue Christ,   husbands must still pursue their wives, and our Lord continually pursues us.  It is very important to pursue God, seeking him as a priority.  So, we should be striving incessantly, constantly, relentlessly, continuously, persistently, ceaselessly, and so on. 

So what does this have to do with the relationships of men and women?

Well, the act of pursuit in dating has to be in direct relationship to one’s relationship with Jesus Christ.  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First off, women stop pursuing these men! 

Proverbs 18:22

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the LORD

A man that desires a relationship should NOT pursue a woman unless he has a personal relationship with Christ and is pursuing Jesus with every part of his being.  If he is not doing this, why would you want a man to pursue you who is incapable of pursuing the Almighty God? 

My thinking in writing on this topic is because I was concerned with the aggressive nature of women in creating relationships with men.  Unfortunately, there are many women that want to be pursuers in the relationship.  I wonder why they have the need to pursue.   Well, I came up with the conclusion that there are many men that don’t pursue women which leads women to do it and those men that are pursuing women are doing a inadequate or poor job.  Therefore, women become the pursuer in the relationship thereby forcing the situation of creating a relationship that is not designed by God. 

So listening to the radio a woman calls in.  Of course I missed the beginning, but I got the gist of it.  She said her boyfriend sent her a text message saying, “We’re going out tonight be ready at 8pm”.  Well the text message got the woman super excited and so she went home from work and began to prepare for “HOT” date with her boyfriend.   It took her three hours to get ready.  She did her hair, her makeup, got a manicure and a pedicure.  When her boyfriend arrived at 8pm he took her to his friend’s house and they watched a movie on the couch.  Was that his idea of pursing her?  This made me realize why women become so involved in their pursuit of men.  Her boyfriend actually thought that an evening watching a movie with his friend constituted pursuing. 

Last thing, pursuit takes both parties. In just the same way in which God, pursues us, it requires that we respond.  Similarly, a man pursuing a woman requires that she respond as well. 

Even though I’m old fashioned and I want my man or husband to be the man that Christ designed him to be I really want to be pursued.   I believe most women want–to be pursued. And most men want to be the pursuer.

The trouble is many of our men have forgotten what that looks like and how to do it. And that's another blog. 

Be Blessed!