So you’ve decided to go Natural, huh?

Kinda sorta, Maybe, We’ll see how it goes, taking it one day at a time, no true commitment, thinking about it, I don’t know…

Whoever said going natural was a walk in the park had to be out of their everlasting God-giving mind.  This “natural” hair thing is nothing but a process.  Maybe I would call it an emotional rollercoaster, which in many ways is just like my life so then I guess this is all a part of my process J.
So I’ve been on this pseudo mission to go natural for some time and although I had this small desire to go natural it was something I never really thought that I could ever do.  I’m such a pretty girl and I really do mean that in the literal sense.  I’ve always been told how cute I am and unfortunately our society and culture has caused people (me) to believe that hair makes you beautiful.  Honestly, I have at times began to think if I would somehow be less cute or less attractive because of the idea of being natural.  This may sound like ISSUES, but I speak the truth.  MY thoughts are my true feelings and in many ways things that others would think, but dare not say. 

I’ve toiled with the idea of, ‘What the Heck am I going to look like with no hair?  What does my natural hair even look like?  Is it kinky, does it have a twist or a curl, God forbid it’s a nappy black girl mess. LOL! I mean this in all seriousness.  These are all the questions that flood my mind as it relates to ME going natural.  But then I re member, there is no greater beauty than the real you.  The you that God created you to be.  Remember, God looks at your heart.  I desire to honor God whole heartedly therefore if being natural is something I want “to try” then just do it Tracy. 

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Ok so moving forward, I made a decision.  It wasn’t a firm decision because I didn’t think that I was ready to make the commitment, but I was going to see if I could actually do this.  The past year I had contemplated the idea of going through this process, but with many reservations and reluctance.  I wondered at the time why was I afraid to make this commitment to this journey of natural hair?? What was/is the big deal?  I told my mom and my sisters.  They just assumed this was just another day of Tracy saying she was going natural again for like the millionth time.  Mind you, I had told them repeatedly, time and time again about how I was going to be natural now.  It usually occurred when I had just gotten a perm. “Ok this is the last perm, I’m going natural” and needless to say eight weeks later when my “new growth” was beginning to take shape there I was again getting a perm and telling my mom and sisters  “Ok I promise, this is the last one”.  I cried wolf.  Over and over again.   Then finally I made a true commitment.  Maybe I should say promise to myself.  It still was: kinda sorta, we’ll see how it goes, taking it one day at a time BUT I took out the maybe and thinking about it.  I promised that I was going to attempt and make an effort to go back to my natural hair. 

When I made this new commitment I told a few people, but knowing me they didn’t think that I could do it.  Now if you challenge me I WILL do it.  So it’s been six months now of this process.  And it’s a day-to-day fight with my hair.  My hair doesn’t cooperate at all.  But it is interesting to see my hair make small transformations.  I’m liking it!  It still scares me and I still can’t believe that I’m embarking on this journey to natural hair. 

In addition to fighting with my hair, I’ve found people to feel quite negatively about black women choosing to go natural.  What the heck??  Don’t we have enough obstacles as black women!  Already, I’ve been confronted with “Why?” or “What you doing that for?”  or “You’re too cute to be natural” or “I wouldn’t do that if I were you?”  I pray that women learn to accept themselves for who they are because we sadly live in a world that is full of prejudices and narrow-mindedness.  They say being natural is liberating.  Well I guess time will tell.  In the end, going natural is a process.  The transition involves a lot of time, patience, and effort on your part. 

Last thing, I think I’m going to do the Big Chop soon.  Pray for me.  It freaks me out, but its time (maybe).  I mean, IT’S JUST HAIR!! 

♥ Tracy

Be Blessed!

My sister, Kelly who’s been natural before recently cut her hair off AGAIN. She looks so cute J!